After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
