and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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