Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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