her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
