i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
