There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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