You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
