woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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