Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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