This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
