I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
