I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
