That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
