dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
