Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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