Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
