I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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