found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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