Can i not drive my cunt home
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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