I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
