She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
