THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
