Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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