I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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