What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
