Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
