I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Porn is love you can see.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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