DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
