five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
