new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize