I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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