My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
