Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
