I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
