It's like God shit irony all over that family
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
