she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
