I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
