Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
