im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
