made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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