That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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