She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
