Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
