you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's rum buckets o'clock
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
