So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
