Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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