I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
