'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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