if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
