Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
