just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
